Inefficient allocation of resources.

When im moody, it affects only myself and no1 else. So its my own lost to be in a bad mood. I think i hav enuff emo fuel to continue with some shit. i dunno, i feel that some some ppl find me irritating. And im afraid i really do.

Last time, back in kindergarden. I gt this fren i always hang out with. I talked to him the whole time, and after skool also will call him. Very often, go his hse. But there was one day, i jus kept callin, tho sometime i get hung up, or sometime engaged. I dunno how telephone worked in the past, but it seems that im interfering with his mama callin some1 else. So after tryin for an hour, i finally get thru to him. When i wanted to complain to him hw hard it was to reach him, he scolded me for disrupting the line, and said i was irritating.

I didn know what happened after that or stuff, but i know nothing changed much even after the event. We still tok as much in class, and its nt like he hate me or anything. He prolly that cos his mama scold him or stuffo. But since den, i had the phobia for initiating phone calls, even for ppl who i know, unless im extremely comfortable about it. Usually i jus joke about that i humji dun dare to call, but actually it really is the case.

Tho the major thing is about phone call, it goes on to the fear of initiating. I scared the things i suggest ppl dun like. So i start feeling like crap when ppl reject ideas frm me. Which is why i deal better with strangers, cos i gt nuthin to lose. I dare to initiate alot of things with ppl i dunno, but the more i know da ppl, the lesser influence i hav, at least my side already giv up.

So if im bothering any1 den tell me so i leave u in peace. If im nt, tell me, so i feel betta.